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	CALIFORNIA TO BE TURNED INTO JACK NICKLAUS SIGNATURE GOLF ESTATE GLAZER ANNOUNCES CHANGES AT MANCHESTER UNITED BIBLE CODE PREDICTS DA VINCI CODE; DA VINCI CODE PREDICTS HYDRAULIC TOASTER A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF PRESIDENT BUSH DECLARES HIMSELF JESUS W. CHRIST CORPORATE BLUES GO UP IN SMOKE JUDGED BY DIFFERENT STANDARDS, BUSH "WINS" DEBATE DR. PHIL ADMITS TO HAVING BEEN A WOMAN CHELSEA OWNER PURSUES ACCOUNTANT FOR MIDFIELD THESHORTSTRAW TARGETED BY WORLD POLITICAL AND BUSINESS LEADERS MEN'S HEALTH MAGAZINE IDENTIFIES WORLD'S PERFECT MAN "SHREK FAHRENHEIT 2" CALLED "OUTRAGEOUSLY FALSE" BY BUSH SPOKESMAN SOUTH AFRICAN WHITES TO BE GIVEN BLACK NAMES EURO 2004 SHOCKER: BECKHAM PROFESSES LOVE FOR FRENCH RICKY MARTIN PONDERS COMING OUT OF CLOSET WORLD TOUR TURNS INTO NIGHTMARE FOR AUSTRIAN MAN SLIPPING ROHYPNOL INTO OWN DRINK, AUSTRALIAN RAPES HIMSELF CURLING GOES VIOLENT WOMAN WAKES UP SPEAKING ONLY IN CLICHÉS FORBES MAGAZINE LISTS 400,000,000 POOREST PEOPLE SEATTLE DOCTOR FINDS CURE FOR DINGLEBERRIES HELDEGUND CONSIDERING VICE PRESIDENTIAL POST- OR IS HE? VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY ADMITS TO WEARING NO UNDERWEAR DURING STATE VISITS IN A SHOCKING MOVE, WARREN BUFFET GIVES EVERYTHING AWAY, CLOSES COMPANY HELDEGUND WELCOMED BACK WITH OPEN ARMS ORTHODOX JEWS AND MUSLIMS ADMIT TO WEARING FAKE BEARDS A POLL OF ITALIAN MEN FINDS ITALIAN MEN WORLD'S BEST LOVERS US INVASION CRITERIA REVEALED THE SHORTSTRAW PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING CORRESPONDENT ADMITS TO HAVING FABRICATED PARTS OF STORIES NAURU DECLARES WAR ON THE US NEW YORK MAYOR CONCEDES MOST CHILDREN OF WEALTHY SPEAK SPANISH AS FIRST LANGUAGE AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND HAND BACK POWER TO INDIGENOUS POPULATIONS; UNITED STATES VACILLATES CONGRESS PASSES LIMITS ON TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS FRENCH ACTOR MICHEL BLANC ADMITS TO BEING RICHARD GRASSO, FORMER CHAIRMAN OF NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE STUDY BY YALE UNIVERSITY FINDS POVERTY OVERRATED BUSH ADMINISTRATION ADMITS POLICIES AIM TO MAKE WORLD LAUGH BRITONS FREED FROM GUANTANAMO BAY REFUSE TO GO HOME THESHORTSTRAW CORRESPONDENT, BRIAN HELDEGUND, FOUND IN SICILY, SHAKEN, BUT MOSTLY INTACT US ‘FIRST DOG’ FOUND DEAD; FOUL PLAY SUSPECTED THESHORTSTRAW EXCLUSIVE: AN INTERVIEW WITH JESUS CHRIST SUPREME COURT HALTS PRIMARIES, DECLARES BUSH RE-ELECTED
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