PIECE OF THUMB FOUND IN SALAD IN OHIO
Devil-worshipping cults descend upon Canton
Stark County Health Commissioner Bill Franks said an employee at Red Robin Gourmet Burgers was chopping lettuce Monday night when she cut off a part of her left thumb, including a brightly painted red fingernail.
Employees at the restaurant searched in vain for the thumb. The lettuce was then placed in the cooler, and used for salads the following day.
"It was served at lunch to a 22-year-old woman," Franks said. "She had eaten most of her salad when she put the thumb in her mouth."
Not wishing to be identified, the woman told TheShortStraw at first she thought it was a Halloween prank. But then she realized it wasn't October. In addition, she said, "It wasn't rubbery like I expected."
As the news spread, devil-worshipping cults descended upon the small Ohio town--until then known for being the home of the Football Hall of Fame--hoping to get similar salads with bits of human flesh.
"It's disgusting," said Police Chief Dean McKimm. "These people, coming here to our little community, dressed in black, gothic looking they call it I guess, demanding salads with thumbs or toes or whatnot. I'd like to arrest them, but so far they haven't broken any laws. If you could arrest people for looking hideous, they'd all be in prison by now."
Mayor Jane Weir Creighton resigned her post, meanwhile, saying she didn't want to be mayor of a city known for thumb salads, throwing city hall into turmoil.
As sales initially plummeted, Red Robin Gourmet Burgers spokesman Dwayne Chambers said he feared for the future of the Greenwood, Colorado chain of 222 restaurants. Now, however, he says business is so good that the chain may change its name to The Red Devil Gourmet Salads & Thumbs.
Copyright © 2004, TheShortStraw
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